So, you know how the story goes.

Two brothers.
Abel’s offering was acceptable to God,
Cain’s wasn’t.
Cain gets angry and
kills his brother.

And then we see the following exchange:

Genesis 4:9
Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Am I my brother’s keeper?  I believe that to be one of the central questions that mankind has been asking ever since. Do I have a responsibility to care for those beyond me?   Beyond my own family?  Beyond my own kind?  Beyond my own country?  Beyond those that I can see?

We see the same question come up again from a man in an encounter with Jesus in which he was reminded to Love his neighbor as himself.
Luke 10:29
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

There it is again.  Who is my neighbor?  Who am I responsible for?

I believe the Bible spends a great deal of time dealing with that very question.  Jesus seems to give us an answer  in the parable of the Good Samaritan immediately in Luke 10 as well as the story of the Sheep and the Goats.

Matthew 25:40
“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

I guess this is the question that I’ve been wrestling with in new ways, not just looking for theoretical answers but practical answers.

Am I my brother’s keeper?

Who is my neighbor?

What does it look like for me to be my brother’s keeper?  What does it look like for me to love my neighbor as I love myself?

I invite you to wrestle with me.

I would love your input and insight.  Any helpful resources would be appreciated as well.


I have found that the best thing that I can do for someone who is in pain, is to enter into the pain with them.  Romans says to mourn with those who mourn.  Just being there, being human.  Seeing their pain and loss as if it were mine because in some sense, their loss and pain really are mine.

The next time you encounter someone in the pain of loss, don’t worry about what to say, enter into their pain.

Romans 12

⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.   ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.   ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.   ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.   ¹³ Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.   ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.   ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.   ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.   ¹⁹Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

²⁰ On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;  if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

In fact there are times when I couldn’t care less what anybody else thinks of me or of what I’ve done.  But then I begin to wonder if I really don’t care or if I just want people to think that I don’t care because that would make me seem pretty cool.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while as I sit here staring at my laptop screen.  I catch my reflection in the monitor and I think I see just another human trying to find a good spot at the table.

Luke 14:7-11 (The Message)
He went on to tell a story to the guests around the table. Noticing how each had tried to elbow into the place of honor, he said, “When someone invites you to dinner, don’t take the place of honor. Somebody more important than you might have been invited by the host. Then he’ll come and call out in front of everybody, ‘You’re in the wrong place. The place of honor belongs to this man.’ Red-faced, you’ll have to make your way to the very last table, the only place left.

“When you’re invited to dinner, go and sit at the last place. Then when the host comes he may very well say, ‘Friend, come up to the front.’ That will give the dinner guests something to talk about! What I’m saying is, If you walk around with your nose in the air, you’re going to end up flat on your face. But if you’re content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself.”

“Jesus, help me be content simply being myself, help my only aspiration to be to serve.  If I’m serving I don’t need a spot at the table.”

He had trisomy 18, a chromosome abnormality in which life “fails to thrive.”

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him.  There are times when the pain of his loss is as fresh as it was four years ago.  My head was full of questions then, to be completely honest I still have more questions than answers.  Even though I don’t have the answers, I do feel like I’ve learned a few things.  You can take them for whatever they’re worth.  Some of them might not make sense to anyone else, that’s okay.

Some Things I’ve learned:

Pain is a very personal thing

As a christian community, we don’t know how to help others grieve

The next time you’re about to utter a christian cliche to someone in pain, do me a favor, shut your mouth and just be there

I waste too much time worrying about what other people think

I waste too much energy pursuing things that are of no consequence

Good friends (including family) are a true treasure, I need to work on being a better friend

Every day is a gift, I should live like it

I don’t hug my kids enough

I’m too serious

God is good, even when it doesn’t seem like it

Why is it that we want to appear bigger than we are?  Maybe not physically but we want people to think that we’re important.

I think this has become even more apparent in our age of social media.  The temptation is to focus more on appearing to be doing something significant rather than being focused on doing something significant.

There is a line somewhere between legitimate networking and promoting self.